Talking Like Your New Selfsam
Re-Creating Your Self by Christopher Stone
Re-Creating Your Self is a virtually self-contained method of personal development. Beyond your Re-Creating Your Self notebook, nothing needs to be purchased in order to successfully use this process. You don’t need a Re-Creating Your Self partner, nor do you need to attend group meetings, seminars and workshops.
You do need a strong, unfaltering desire to become the person you want to be, living the life you desire. Toward that end, you can’t be afraid to put forth the effort required for substantial, successful personal transformation.
Last time, we broached the subject of acting like the person you wish to become as a powerful tool for the change you want to achieve. I stressed the fact that acting like your new self doesn’t condone or suggest grand or reckless demonstration. Nor is it about being phony, inauthentic. In acting like your new self, your purpose is simply to take some action – no matter how small or seemingly insignificant – that physically affirms your positive mental actions and demonstrates your willingness to change an old attitude.
A POWERFUL EXERCISE
You can begin acting like your new self right now, using a powerful technique that combines both mental and physical action to help you more quickly accept the new beliefs in your Blueprint for Personal Change.
(1) Choose one of the new beliefs from your blueprint for personal change.
(2) Relax your self, then mentally affirm that belief for two minutes. (Use the affirmation you created for that particular belief in a previous Adventure.)
(3) Immediately after affirming the new belief, make it the theme of a Creative Daydream.
(4) After ending your Creative Daydream, take some physical action to support your new belief. (Decide upon the specific physical action you’ll take before beginning this exercise. You needn’t be grandiose. Even a small physical action will be effective.)
This combination mental/physical exercise sends a powerful message to your self. It declares that – on all levels – you are ready, willing and able to accept a new kind of experience in your life.
Talking like your new self is yet another important component of acting like your new self. Your words, like your mental and physical actions, are powerful. They can either help you to re-create your self, or they can keep you from achieving your goals. As Christ put it, “By thy words thou shalt be justified and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” He also taught that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
Do the words you use in your conversations with others bring “death” to the false, negative and self-limiting beliefs that you want to discard and give “life” to the ideas that support the person you want to become? If they do not, then your tongue is undermining your efforts to re-create your self.
That was my student Allen’s problem. In re-creating himself, Allen’s primary goal was to change the negative beliefs that kept him from creating the romantic relationships he desired.
Allen was lonely, morose. He claimed that most women just weren’t interested in him. The few women who showed interest initially didn’t sustain that interest for long. Allen and I worked together to identify, examine and evaluate the beliefs that had created his negative experiences with the opposite sex. On his own, Allen designed his blueprint for personal change, and then he began using each of the tools for personal change.
So far, so good.
Three months after our final session together, I received a phone call from Allen. He was angry and frustrated. In an accusing voice, he said that Re-Creating Your Self wasn’t working for him. His relationships with the opposite sex hadn’t improved one iota. He continued to accuse, complain and whine, stopping short of asking for his money back. At first, Allen didn’t take kindly to my suggestion to return for one final session. But when I told him that the session would be “on the house,” he grudgingly agreed.
Allen and I reviewed his self-scripted Blueprint for Personal Change. He claimed that his self-love and self-trust continued to increase, though slowly. He continued to meditate daily, using one of his new beliefs as the subject of his meditations. In his Creative Daydreams, Allen saw himself in a happy, committed relationship with an attractive, healthy woman. Before going to sleep each night, he was affirming his new self. “I’ve done everything you suggested,” he said, once again in an accusing tone. “So why haven’t I manifested the relationship I desire?”
“Are you acting like your new self?” I asked. “Do your words affirm the person you want to become?” Embarrassed, Allen admitted that although he was using all of the other tools for personal change, he stopped short of physically supporting his new beliefs with appropriate actions and words. In truth, his daily conversations reinforced the very beliefs he was trying to discard. For example, Allen might tell a friend about a woman he met at the gym. The friend might inquire, “Why didn’t you ask her for a date?” To which, Allen would respond, “Why would a beautiful girl like that want to go out with a guy like me?” Expressions including “I don’t stand a chance with her,” “When pigs fly!” and “She’s way out of my league!” still appeared with alarming frequency in Allen’s conversations about desirable women.
Quite simply, his words acted as powerful hypnotic suggestions that undermined his heart’s desires and his positive mental actions, reinforcing the negative beliefs he wanted to discard.
When Allen began Talking Like His New Self, he started having success with the opposite sex.
A Re-Creating Your Self Thought: Become better at voicing your best qualities rather than bespeaking your so-called failures and faults.
Coming July 1: Listen to Your Self & An Action Adventure
Have a Re-Creating Your Self comment, observation, or a question? Please send them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Copyright 2010 by Christopher Stone