My Beliefs About the Nature of Selfhoodsam
Re-Creating Your Self by Christopher Stone
STEP 1: To the beliefs lists that you created in your Re-Creating Your Self notebooks previously, add your beliefs about:
My basic goodness
My ability to trust myself
My personal value
If your lists reveal that you believe your self to be basically good, trustworthy and valuable, move on to Step 2. On the other hand, if you believe your self to be basically bad, untrustworthy, or valueless, then indicate why you feel this way. Were your negative beliefs first accepted from others, or were they the result of your personal experience? Examine objectively everything you’ve written. Remember, these are your current beliefs about the nature of selfhood, and not facts of life. These beliefs can be changed.
STEP 2: How comfortable are you with your self? List your beliefs about individuality. Be sure to include your attitude about expressing your own special talents, eccentricities and quirks. How do you react when other people express theirs?
YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS ADVENTURE
Georgia, your guide for a previous adventure, also provides the example for this foray into your own inner space.
Here’s the Adventure as completed by Georgia.
MY BASIC GOODNESS
1. Belief: I try harder to be good than anyone I know.
2. Belief: If I have to try, then it doesn’t come naturally; therefore, I’m not naturally, or basically, good.
3. Belief: Basic goodness involves supreme simplicity.
4. Belief: I’m too complicated to be truly good.
5. Belief: Basic goodness involves being secure – it’s hard to be good to others, if you aren’t good to yourself.
6. Belief: I’m rotten to myself.
7. Belief: Basic goodness is something with which you’re born. I was born with long eyelashes instead.
MY ABILITY TO TRUST MYSELF
1. Belief: I can be trusted never to let anyone else down.
2. Belief: I let myself down constantly.
3. Belief: My advice to others is brilliantly trustworthy.
4. Belief: I can’t trust the advice I give myself.
MY PERSONAL VALUE
1. Belief: When I do something to deserve it, I’m valuable.
2. Belief: When I don’t, I’m not.
3. Belief: My value in my own eyes isn’t lessened by anyone else’s low opinion of me – unless it’s the opinion of someone I love. Then I’m sunk.
WHY I FEEL THIS WAY
Being human isn’t enough for me; I long to be super-human and utterly wonderful. I grew up with “Little Women” as my Bible, and I totally accept the saintly value-system of that book’s fictitious family.
Also, I’ve actually met one or two non-fictitious people who are almost totally good and trustworthy; so I know it is possible. And, if it’s possible, I’m going to keep trying.
Lastly, I want to be always balanced, always strong, always wise, and always unselfish – and when I’m unbalanced, weak, silly and egocentric, it seems that I’m betraying all of my ideals.
WHERE MY BELIEFS CAME FROM
These beliefs about my goodness, trustworthiness and personal value weren’t accepted from others. They are of my own creation. In truth, most people I know love and like me; they believe that I’m good, trustworthy and valuable. But I suspect they like me for my strengths, not my weaknesses, and so I’m terrified of showing weakness, for fear the love will stop.
1. Belief: I’m a flaming, ardent, rampant, individualist. “Weird, and proud of it!” has always been my motto.
2. Belief: Individuality is something to be cherished and nurtured and shouted from the rooftops.
3. Belief: The death of someone’s individuality is like the death of Bambi’s mother.
4. Belief: Alone, or with others, I’m most commonly comfortable with expressing my individuality.
5. Belief: There are times when I stop myself from expressing the true extent of my individuality.
6. Belief: I’m delighted to see others express their individuality. I encourage them to do so.
7. Belief: There are times I’m embarrassed by the method a person chooses for expressing individuality. This is especially true if the form of expression is in any way vulgar or sexual.
A Re-Creating Your Self thought: Your version of this Re-Creating Your Self Inner Space Adventure reveals your own strongest ideas about the very nature of selfhood. Use this revelation to assist you in becoming the person you want to be, living the life you desire.
Next time: Planning Your New Self.
Have a comment, observation, or question about Re-Creating Your Self? Please send them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Copyright 2009 by Christopher Stone