Listen to Your Self & An Action Adventuresam
Re-Creating Your Self by Christopher Stone
If you want to know what you really believe at any given time, then listen carefully, very intently, to the words you use. They mirror your beliefs. They are your beliefs, verbally expressed.
“If you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything at all!” That’s a cliché you’d be well advised to apply to your self: If you can’t say anything positive about your self, then why say anything? There’s no good to come from complaining about your self, or from belittling your self in conversation. It doesn’t help you – it only gives power to the negative attitudes and ideas that you want to change. To make matters worse, your wailing and whining constitute “ear pollution” to the person, or persons, who are listening.
Use your words to bless, never to condemn, and start with your self.
While understanding the importance of talking like their new selves, some Re-Creating Your Self students feel that to do so is to contradict their present reality – to be in denial, so to speak. To them, this seems like lying. These people are missing the point. I’m not suggesting that you lie. I’m from “the truth shall set you free” school of thought. I’m simply asking my students to choose their words more carefully. For instance, if you’re broke and you want to have money, don’t reinforce your poverty-creating beliefs by saying, “I need a vacation….but I can’t afford it!” Verbally affirm the person you want to become, living the life you desire, by declaring, “I need a vacation. And soon I’ll be able to afford it!” You are not lying, nor are you reinforcing any negative beliefs you hold about finances and money.” You’re opening the door for what you need and want to become real and present in your life.
Listen carefully, very carefully, to your self and the words that you use regularly. At the same time, be careful not to listen at length to people who make illness, failure or pessimism the principal themes of their conversations. Their negativity is draining; even worse, it may be contagious.
Talking like your new self requires a conscious and deliberate effort on your part, for a while. That’s because most of us have the bad habit of automatically dragging old words and negative phrases into our present conversations. With practice, talking like your new self will become as automatic and effortless as talking like your old self used to be.
The same applies to listening to your self.
ACTING LIKE MY NEW SELF
Step 1: Open your Re-Creating Your Self notebook to your Blueprint for Personal Change, and review your beliefs.
STEP 2: As you review, decide on one simple action you can take to physically affirm each belief in your blueprint. Under the heading “Acting Like My New Self,” list each new belief in your blueprint, followed by the physical action you’ve chosen to support the belief. (Your Guide will provide a format you can use for this written step of the Adventure.)
STEP 3: Each day put wings on one or more of your new beliefs by taking the physical action you decided on in Step 2. Continue until you have physically affirmed (acted like) each of your new beliefs at least once.
STEP 4: Think of a new way to physically support each of your new beliefs, and then put your fresh actions into use by repeating Step 3, using them. Continue this process until acting like your new self becomes automatic.
YOUR ADVENTURE GUIDE
AMY, 39 YEARS OLD:
When she first came to see me, Amy was a twice-divorced businesswoman with a seventeen-year-old son and ten-year-old ulcers. “I already believe that I create my life,” she said. “What I need to know is how to recreate it in a way will bring health, happiness and peace.”
New belief: I trust Drew (Amy’s boyfriend) because, in the two years that we’ve been dating, he’s never given me reason to doubt him.
Acting like my new self: From now on, when speaking with Drew on the phone, I will freely share the interesting things that have happened to me during the day. I’ll communicate clearly my love and caring. In the past, I’ve spent most of our daily calls jealously giving him the third degree about his every action and personal encounter.
New belief: Being a good mother doesn’t mean that I must be my son’s personal “slavey.” In truth, I can become a better parent by making Michael assume some responsibilities.
Acting like my new self: I’m telling Michael that from now on he’s responsible for keeping his room clean and laundering his own clothes.
New belief: I’m a good, valuable person, right now. I needn’t prove my personal worth, or strive to be more valuable.
Acting like my new self: I’m going to stop belittling my employees when they make errors in order to increase my own sense of value and worth.
New belief: I love myself enough to sometimes allow pleasure to come before business.
Acting like my new self: Instead of paneling and reorganizing the garage next weekend, I’m accepting Drew’s offer of a romantic Catalina getaway.
A Re-Creating Your Self Thought: Carefully listening to your self, both the things you say aloud, and the inner dialogues you have with your self, is the fastest way to learn what you really believe at any given time.
Coming July 15: Your Life Changes As You Re-Create Your Self.
Have a Re-Creating Your Self comment, observation, or a question? Please send them to me at [email protected]
Copyright 2010 by Christopher Stone