10 Tips for Creating New Year’s Resolutions That Sticksam
Promises! Promises! Promises! New Year’s resolutions are often shelved within a matter of months of having made the pledge. Ignoring the self-made proposal leaves folks feeling despondent, disconnected and dishonest. Talk of losing weight, finding a relationship or changing jobs are the unintended “lies” people tell themselves. Edy Nathan MA, LCSW, CST proposes specific life tools that can help people move their intentions into successful interventions. When the suggestions are followed they can create a key that unlocks their inability to follow through.
Here are the 10 tools that can create lasting change:
1. Create an intention and make it realistic. It needs to be achievable. 30 dates in a week or a 20-pound weight loss in that same week are examples of unrealistic goals. For example, the ability and the set goal to lose one pound a week rather than twenty pounds in a week, is far more doable and achievable.
2. Focus on one desired achievement rather than many.
3. Share the commitment made to the self with others: Nathan states: ”When you make a plan and share it with friends or relatives you trust, often your functioning and follow through have a greater means for success. Once successful, then make it less about your commitment to them, and make it about the commitment you have made to yourself.”
4. Picture the desired outcome. Keep that picture close. See it in the morning before getting out of bed. Focus on it before going to sleep, at night.
5. Don’t get frustrated at set-backs. Remember, change is part of a learning curve. What is learned can help support moving forward. No one is perfect!
6. Get out of the comfort zone. Push beyond what is comfortable. This is pain for inner growth and transformation. The cage is always there to postpone growth.
7. Calendars are important to set specific goals. Even if the goal is not reached by that specific date, the mind does know that the date is there as part of the follow through strategy.
8. Give rewards for follow through. 10 job applications get 10 points toward a reward that is self created.
9. Create a definition of integrity. This is the work of asking the self to define the truth of owning up to what the soul wants.
10. “If you are still having trouble following through, perhaps there are bigger issues that keep you from your follow through. If this is the case, ask yourself what would change if you actually moved into a new position, lost weight or found a new relationship?” Nathan suggests that doing this soul searching may give answers to why the desired goal is not being achieved.
Realistic desires do not have to end up in a stockpile of the promises not kept. Keep the vow to the self by doing more than setting good intentions.
About Edy Nathan:
Edy Nathan is a licensed psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in grief. For two seasons, she was the therapist on the A&E TV Show, “Psychic Kids.” She holds Masters from both New York University and Fordham University. She has post-graduate training from the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy, The Gestalt Center and the Jungian Institute. She is a certified EMDR practitioner, regression therapist, certified hypnotherapist, relationship and grief expert. To find out more, visit EdyNathan.com.
For a complimentary meditation and more information about other topics related to grief, loss and trauma, please visit here.